Archive for the ‘porno’ Category

These are my friends: Part 1

April 21, 2010

You can catch more of this disturbed soul on Twitter.

Pornography > Politics

October 3, 2008

Instead of watching the VP debate last night, I went out to the Pirates 2 signing at Hustler in Hollywood. I did watch the first 10 minutes before I decided that it was pointless sticking around if Mike Gravel wasn’t going to appear out of thin air.

Not quite red carpet, but important enough to have nine thousand photographers. I wasn’t about to lose my place in line just to get a better picture. I wanted to get in and out as quickly as I could. It was hot as fuck in there.

Stoya showing me some affection, and me looking like I belong in special ed. By the way, Jenna Haze gets the gas face. She never hit me up for an interview. She asked if I wanted a picture with her, and I said no. haha. There was some titty grabbing that we didn’t capture. Darn.

Jesse, please eat.

Hahahaha. That dude is so strange.

The event was lackluster. After we got all our shit signed, and took pictures they just quickly rushed us out of there. I would have liked to be treated with a little more respect seeing as how I just gave them 70 dollars for a 138 minute DVD that I’ll probably never ever sit through. Thank God for DVD’s and scene selection.

Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge – Behind the scenes trailer.

August 14, 2008

Belladonna, Brianna Love, Sasha Grey, and the homie Stoya!! I didn’t like the first one too much, but now it seems like there will be some gaping assholes. I’m kind of excited.

Official Site.

Necro – Who’s Your Daddy? (Video)

August 11, 2008

I am extremely Jealous. Enjoy this masterpiece

Vodpod videos no longer available. 

The Fleshlight.

August 5, 2008

Sorry, I haven’t been updating lately. I was a little freaked out by being 8 months into 2008. I was also busy planning the immediate future. Shit’s getting crazy! School starts next month, and I switched my Music major to Communications. Holler. Now, onto the real biz: The fleshlight. I feel like an idiot for using only my hand for 10+ years. I bought a Fleshlight a few days ago because I, like most individuals, am a pervert. I don’t know what to say about it except this: If the Fleshlight were seats on an airplane, it’d be in the first class section complete with complimentary OJ, and fluffy pillow.

Last week a friend of mine was talking porno, and we somehow got into the fleshlight discussion, which led to the browsing of the fleshlight website (check out that rhyme). I was intrigued by the customization options- Pink ultra tight asshole, Mocha wonder wave pussy, White super ribbed mouth, Transparent speed bump stealth opening..etc. After watching several of the videos on the website and browsing the user forums, I decided to order one. I got the Pink Super Tight (As a tribute to UGK, no homo) pussy, plus the mandatory water-based overpriced lube.

I waited two days for them to get their shit together and send me my new toy. Then one day I was playing video games, and the FedEx guy showed up at my door with a box. If only he knew what I was going to do in the next thirty minutes with what was inside my box.. Anyway, after I put the whooping on Penn State, I turned off my gaming console, and proceeded to try out this Fleshlight. I tried to jam my cock into it right away, but that didn’t work. I had just showered, and I didn’t feel like getting all messy but again..I’m a sinner. I applied lubricant on the necessary places, and went at it.

First impression: “Whoaaaaaa, sensationss.” At first it felt kinda like a pussy, but then I decided it was more of a blowjob, but then it went back to the pussy feeling…tighter that normal of course. “Jerking off with my hand will never be the same, this is exceptional. I wish I didn’t have to apply so much fucking lube though. Oh wow, this is gonna be some Peter North load.”

After I blew the motherload, I had to clean the device. I’ll save you the details because I know none of you have an iron stomach. Just know that it’s rather simple to clean.

Second Impression: I don’t remember, I was too busy fast-forwarding the porno to the good part. I’m sure it was another positive experience cause I don’t even remember it.

I’ve masturbated with my hand only once since I first used the Fleshlight, and I have to say it’s just not the same anymore. The Fleshlight has spoiled me. Sure it’s a bit pricey, but it’s way worth it. I recommend it to anyone who masturbates as often as I do.

Porn Recession?!

July 24, 2008

Porn sales are being affected by the economy! This is ridiculous. Read about it here:

http://www.wallstreetfighter.com/2008/07/the-porn-recession.html

I forgot what the porno netflix was called, but I’m gonna be making the switch to that real soon it seems.

Savannah Jane is a deaf pornstar. Where have I been?

July 23, 2008

After I finished laughing, I decided I was very proud of her.

Kudos to you, deaffie.

BONUS:

BONUS LINK: http://deafgonewild.com/

Want free porn? Wear a Celtics jersey.

June 9, 2008

Erotica L.A. was going on over the weekend, and I was only able to attend on Sunday. How sad. I went in 2006, and missed it last year due to some kind of event for work. Anyway, I went with my friend Peter. Peter and I know everything about pornography. He is my A-Alike. The drive over to the convention center was filled with convo about cream pies, best new starlets, girls who need to start doing anal, and cheap “2 for $5” porno. There’s a 30 second video of this.

“Do you even know where Boston is?”

Kids in a candy store. Maybe that isn’t the right way to describe it, but you know what I mean. I just wanted to scream “I love porno!” at the top of my lungs and run around in circles like a retard. I made the mistake/genius decision to wear my Celtics jersey. I was harassed constantly, but when I walked over to the Jules Jordan booth, one of the dudes there was from Boston, and let me have a free porno. I chose Ass Worship 9. Velicity Von’s first anal scene. It’s classic. Shot the shit for a minute, and wandered some more.

“Take off that jersey!”

Passed by Mr. Marcus, who is shorter than I am. Really weird. He had his trademark hate and watch on. haha. Lexington Steele was dressed like Eddie Griffin in Undercover Brother. Ron Jeremy still looks like my dad. I didn’t take a picture with him. The first long line we waited in was for Sasha Grey. I had many things to say to her, but the only thing that came out was “Hi, how are you?” and “Give me an interview for Godsgirls.com..blah blah.” How stupid. I was going to buy Sasha Grey’s Anatomy in Blue-Ray, but it was 35 bucks. Fuck that.

“Fuck the Celtics, Dogg!!”

Some more wandering, and we ran into Joanna Angel of Burningangel.com. She’s teeny tiny. She made sex eyes at me, but my loyalty to GG is too strong. Joanna leaves without my dick.

“Take that shit off!!”

The longest line we were in was for Belladonna. We looked around for a few hours before she showed up. I bought Butthole Whores 2 while I was in line so she could sign the cover. She greeted me with a hug, and whispered dirty things in my ear, and then gave me her phone number. That was a lie. She signed some things, gave me some shit, and then took a picture. Then I died and went to heaven.

“You’re in the wrong town, buddy!!”

I ran into Godsgirl’s own Superna at the convention!! She was dope. I introduced myself, and she was like “Oh shit, you’re Farhaad?!?!” haha. She’s real nice

“Don’t take a picture with the Celtics fan!”

And then there was Audrey. She touched me inappropriately. I think I fell in love with her.

Okay, I’m bored of posting pictures. It was a good time, I’m glad I caught it. AdultCon in December is next. Check out the rest of my pictures at Myspace.com/starhaad