Sweet Child of Mine.

This is not meant to be funny, but I cannot stop laughing. People from India speaking english = motherfucking priceless. It always gets me. Some more Desi hilarity:

Chimaira’s The Infection, reviewed..sorta.

My reviews are ass, but at least I try, unlike Lebron James.

I bought the album on a whim. Heard a lot of people talking about the band, so I picked it up the same day I bought Master of Puppets. It was a mistake playing this album after that one, cause it’s a piece of shit in comparison.

BUT, when you pretend 80’s Metallica didn’t exist, this album is worth the 13 dollars, and the stupid time wasted in line at Best Buy. I have to admit, though, the vocals aren’t my cup of tea. There are few bands that I can stand when it comes to the shitty growl/scream thing, and Chimaira is not one of them. The music, however, is ridiculously well played. This is coming from the guy who doesn’t care much if it isn’t thrash. Immediately, from the opening riff, I thought to myself, “Whoa, this is probably going to kill,” and it did.

If you’re like me, you play your music loud enough so you feel that the drums will make your lungs collapse, and the shredding causes internal bleeding. Chimaira succeeds in doing so. Songs like “Impending Doom” and “On Broken Glass” made me feel like I had a prolapsed colon. This is more enjoyable than it sounds, I promise.

Lyrics..if I paid attention to the vocals, I would know what’s going on. Apparently this is a concept album about monkeys biting people and causing an outbreak, or so you’d think. I don’t care enough to look at the lyrics in the booklet.

Anyway, if for some reason the C’s are sitting next the letter M at your preferred record store, pick up Metallica’s Master of Puppets, otherwise, get The Infection. You won’t want to kick me in the face for the recommendation.

Favorite song: “The Heart of it All”

Patrick Chewing.

There has never been a better sports related commercial than this one. Not even that incredible young Jordan vs. old Jordan Gatorade commercial. There’s something about the God-awful flat top wig, and Patrick Ewing’s Kermit the Frog voice that absolutely kills me every time I watch it. Enjoy.

Thank You Poland, Part 2.

For the second time this year, Poland is giving me mad traffic. Why? Because everyone in Poland is a fan of this video, it seems. So, with that said, thank you, Poland. Thank you for Andrzej Golota, Tomasz Adamek, The Jew from that movie “The Pianist,” and the 2008 Olympic Women’s Volleyball team. Those girls were fine as hell.

Milena Sadurek, everyone.
Love,

Alfonso Zayas.

Bad Ass Song Of The Moment – Part 3

I’ve never listened to Swashbuckle before, but I’m pretty sure all of their music revolves around the pirate world. Pirate Metal? I don’t know. When was the last time anyone saw a frontman weigh so much? Blues Traveler?

#Musicmonday

Let the immaturity begin.

Brotha Lynch Hung endorses Crackcess Hollywood.

Hi.

I’m sitting at the dinner table, naked, enjoying a cherry Pop-Tart. It’s actually a knock-off, supermarket brand pop-tart, but a pop-tart, nontheless. I would say my day has officially begun, wouldn’t you?

I have a new kitten. Here he is:

The girlfriend is in the way, so ignore her. Isn’t he great? We haven’t decided on a name yet, but we’ll probably have one by the end of the night. Here’s a list of names I came up with. I’m sure each one of these will be shot down:

Young Stripez
Cat’ron
Young Bleed
The Young Joe Frazier
Habib
Sauce Money
Tobias 2

Anyone else have some ideas?

Wednesday is Hump day.

Not in the literal sense, unfortunately. Leave it to White people to come up with such a witty name for the middle of the week. LOL. <–White people created that too. Anyway, the new Gallows album is out, and I’m going to listen to it in it’s entirety as I work. I might be wiki’ing Josef Mengele at some point today. Hmm, maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned that. People are gonna think I’m into White supremacy like Tom Araya.

I’ll post a real entry today.

Kobe Bryant Scores 81 Points!

I wish. Something about last night’s loss has me wanting to correct my life. There’s nothing wrong, except the part where I don’t know what I want to do with myself as far as careers go. I enjoy doing pr/online marketing, and I absolutely love the entertainment industry, but certain aspects of this job are completely unoriginal, and repetitive. Who woulda thought that the music biz would be redundant? Not I. So, unless something clicks soon, I’ll probably look into pursuing something other than a degree in Comm. We’ll see though. Some days I dream about having my own marketing firm, and some days I dream about being a race car driver. Almost 24, and I don’t know what I’m doing with myself. Alarming.

So now that the serious stuff is out of the way, I can talk about Lil Wayne. I recently listened to The Carter III in it’s entirety and I have to say..Lil Wayne is nowhere near a top 10 list. I realize the guy can make a great album and write mega hits, but there’s nothing about his skill that makes me want to compare him to the all-time, and current greats. Fabolous, and Juelz have a guest spot on the same song on the album, and their verses put Lilweezyana’s entire disc to shame. SHAME. Anyway, that’s it for now.