Clothing I Need to Retire: T-Shirt Edition

The other day I was looking for a shirt to wear to some function. I forgot the occasion, but it wasn’t anything fancy. As I was going through my closet I realized I had a whole lot of bullshit ass tee shirts. I tried to come up with excuses as to why I owned some of these “gems” but couldn’t really come up with a valid one. “I was young, and easily influenced” didn’t quite convince me, so I took an L with grace. That day I vowed to never wear the following shirts again.

Price: Free
Purchased @: Karma Loop
Year: 2007

Sigh. I’m not too upset at myself for owning this because I got it for free. See, the fellows from Karma Loop were kind enough to send me a free Soulful Commadoe shirt after I ordered a product that was out of stock. Did they have to send me a shirt with that bad of a logo, though? I would have taken a 5% off coupon and been just as happy, I think. I wore this one a lot, unfortunately. I don’t even know why. Its a terrible looking shirt, and that screen printing job is straight ass.

Price: $30.00
Purchased @: Bowls L.A.
Year: 2008

I had no idea that was Jennifer Connelly until a few months ago. I actually spent hard earned money on this one. Why? Your guess is as good as mine. I want to say it had to do with the color scheme. I had to match with my kicks, you know? Heh..heh.. Apparently I was oblivious to bad screen printing jobs just two short years ago.

Price: $30.00
Purchased @: Nike Town
Year: 2008

As a sneaker snob, I felt it was necessary to wear shirts that made references to shoes just in case you missed the heat that I was wearing on my feet (didn’t mean to rhyme, do it all the time. x2). The funny thing about this shirt is that if I wore it, I knew I could only wear high top dunks if I still wanted to look “cool” to all the streetwear fags on Fairfax. Joke is on them, though. I once checked the mail while wearing this shirt with a pair of Jordans. Blow me, you fuckin’ nerds.

Price: $25.00
Purchased @: Upper Playground
Year: 2007

Wearing this would be allowable if I were still high school kid, however, I am a 24 year old man. Its nice to rock something that reps where you’re from every now and again but this is just bad. Its not even offensive, its just plain corny. Every time I put this waste of money on, I wonder if this poor girl regrets her decision to get her barrio tattooed on her ass. Then I wonder what strip club she works at.

Price: $34.00
Purchased @: Active Ride Shop
Year: 2007

I love, love, love this shirt but it needs to be put away in a box forever. The reason why this one is being retired is because old White people have ruined it for me. You have no idea how many times I’ve had White people come up to me and preach some anti-rap shit. At first, I defended the shirt and myself. I had to let these Ofays know they were taking the shit out of context. Eventually this shit became like the war on drugs. I didn’t see an end to it, so I made the decision to put it away forever. I have more than 1 Biggie shirt anyway.

Tags: Shit Talkin'