Dear Definitive Jux,

I would greatly appreciate it if you stopped spamming my inbox with news about Cool Calm Pete, and Chin Chin..whatever the fuck that is. I realize I could easily unsubscribe from your mailing list, but I always think to myself “What if I miss out on the news that Def Jux signed Steady B, or Ant Banks?” Made up scenarios like that keep me on the mailing list. I haven’t listened to any kind of Def Jux shit in the past two years aside from Aesop Rock, and El-P but the day of me listening to white rapper, save Eminem, is probably over. You can take this as some sort of racist rant if  you want, I’m just telling the truth. I like my music to be entertaining, and white people just can’t hold my attention when it comes to music unless there’s a guitar present. It’d be super awkward if I heard Asher Roth talking about swag, or Lupe Fiasco talking about “hit the mall money.” Plus, your black rappers are pretty terrible. I’m talking current roster though. That Can Ox shit was dope..like 8 years ago. But that’s it.

That last part was insensitive. hahaha.

Sincerely,

The Young Peter Gabriel AKA Sledgehammer Jr.

No new entries in forever.. Suck it.

Now I know why this bitch stays rocking oversized sunglasses. I wouldn’t be surprised if she had crazy fivehead.

Uncle Murda endorses Crackcess Hollywood.

Can’t Truss Em.

Edit.

PFMD.

Thanks to Ali, I now have a new acronym to annoy you with. Anyway, no real updates in a while. What gives? Well, I’ve been busy with work, school, and life shitting on me. My creative juices are sucked out when noon hits. I’ll just talk about my face. About a week ago, I looked like this:

Today I look like this:

People are comparing me to this guy. Why the fuck can’t I be compared to this guy, or even this guy? I assure you my hairline isn’t that fucked up, it’s just the lighting. Hopefully this beard fills in real nice. I’ve got people to scare, and Kufis to wear.

Video: Mastodon – Oblivion

Mastodon – New Music – More Music Videos

This is the new video for Mastodon’s “Divinations,” the lead single from the upcoming album Crack The Skye. Album is out March 24th!

My first bit of hate mail!

I’m really excited about this entry. Over the weekend, I got a nasty message from someone’s alias on Yelp. My first ever piece of hate mail! I’ve decided to share it with all the loyal CH readers, but first, some info. I went to this shitty vegan restaurant the other day, and pretty much trashed it in my review. Read it here.

As you can see, I gave that restaurant a verbal thrashing. Well, someone got hot under the collar because of it, and sent me a nasty, awfully written message. It goes like this:

“guinness is for frat boys. your girlfriend is an ugly teenybopper with an idiotic haircut, but even she probably only fucks you because you pay her way. you are ugly and obviously stuck up. i hope i never meet you, because if i did, i would probably try to run you over, you useless piece of shit. too bad your mother didn’t abort you or kill you as soon as you came out. you are a waste of space and air. hopefully you do get hit by a car or are mugged and maimed forever by some gangster who is doing you and all of us a favor.

go drink some guinness, fuck your idiot girlfriend until her shitty fake hardcore band gets famous and she dumps your lame, flabby ass. you piece of shit.“

Oh boy. I really think that was written by the fat server, or the xVegaNx cook. I suppose they assumed they knew everything about me through my profile on the site, and the pictures I have up, cause I have no real personal information on there. So the whole girlfriend thing is hilarious. I pay her way through life, I’m flabby, and she’s got a hardcore band. hahaha. Idiot. I’m pretty sure I can submit this to the police, and there would be some kind of conspiracy charge filed. I’m not a snitch, so that’s not gonna happen.

I sent a response that went “Such animosity. How come?” But I haven’t gotten a response yet. I hope that Porky P is man/lesbian enough to respond. I haven’t been part of a good internet argument in quite some time. Please respond, Porky P. You already took the low road. Don’t quit while you’re behind.