Sorry about the lack of updates. The holidays and all that shit took over my life for a second. Speaking of holidays.. My family does their Christmas festivites on the 24th for some reason. I never knew why so I decided to investigate. I asked my mother why we didn’t open gifts on the morning of the 25th.
Mom: Porque? Yo no quiero esperar.
I suppose being impatient is a good reason to open gifts early, and when your mom is in her 50’s and from Central America, whatever she says goes. She’s not afraid to break out that sandal and hit you behind the ear.
Then I asked my sister why we weren’t being traditional with our Christmas festivities.
Sister: Because we’re not White.
This is the same person who tried to explain to me that stereotypes were wrong. I was under the impression that all Black children are naturally buff, and she told me to stop being ignorant. This was before she said “fucking Asian people can’t drive.”
Ah, my brother. I was sure to get a real response out of him. After all, he’s a man. He has a brain. “Hey George. How come we don’t celebrate Christmas on the 25th like everyone else?”
Brother: Cause it’s my house, foo’.
This is a 31 year old man with a college degree still talking like Kid Frost, and every other hispanic gang member from the mid-nineties. How could I even argue?
Finally, I asked my father why we didn’t follow the rules.
Dad: Because these Jews..
I stopped listening after I heard “Jews.” There was some rant about Disneyland, and then he made this absurd claim that Christmas was a Jewish Holiday. I just laughed. Happy Holidays.
Tags: i remember when disneyland was free, jews, michael eisner
