Tomorrow is my first day of school. I’ve been away for 5 years, but I decided to go ahead and get that degree. I was just thinking about “the college life” and everything that it entails, and I realized I missed out on a lot of things that make you who you are. So, with that said, I’m going to make a little list of stuff that I’m sure I’ll be doing over the next 3 to 4 years of my life. Each activity is going to be accompanied by a 10 scale, so we’ll see how much trouble I’ll be getting into.
The Freshman Fifteen
On the 10 scale, this is a 2. Being stressed, and on the go all the fucking time will help me lose weight I think. There’s a bunch of fast food spots surrounding campus, though, so I have to be careful. Hopefully I can stick to salads and water.
Studying
On the 10 scale, this is an 8. I know, I know. It should be a 10, but really, give me a lot more credit because years ago it was a 1. Maybe a 2. I never really studied anything other than rap music. It’s the truth. I better find a way to study effectively, or I’m dead.
Showing up to class
This is a 10 on the 10 scale. I used to hate leaving my home, now I cant stand being inside. I will only miss class if there’s a much hyped shoe coming out that day or something, but that’s it. Nothing will stop me from being front row of every class.
Party
This is a 5 on the 10 scale. I don’t party hard. I like to go out and enjoy myself from time to time. I might even drink a brew..or two. Going out will not get in the way of my school work. Especially if I can bring some bitch back to my spot. I can just make her go home after I’m done, and hit the books.
Alcohol
On the 10 scale, this is an 8. Fine, I lied when I said ‘brew or two.’ What I meant was a brew, or ten. As you can see by my epic picture, I like them by the pint. And I don’t drink piss worm chango, only the dark shit. But believe me, drinking and party do not necessarily go hand in hand. Now, drinking and gaming..that’s perfect.
Drugs
This is a 1 on the 10 scale. I’ve only ever tried weed, and I can count on one hand how many times I’ve smoked that piff. Fuck, I’ve never even smoked pot in America to tell you the truth. Twice in Amsterdam, twice in Canada. I don’t get the urge to try it out here. I stick to wonderful beer. I’m not gonna bother with any hard drugs, I’m too old to try any of that shit. Maybe I’ll eat mushrooms during winter break when things aren’t as hectic.
Socializing
This is a 9 on the 10 scale. I used to be a little social anxiety bitch, and one day I cut loose and became normal. I’m still a little bit introverted, but I’ve put myself out there so much in the last three years or so. It’s a nice feeling. I do think that most of the people in college are corny bastards, though. There will be days where I will wear my headphones to avoid cornballs.
Sexual Experimentation
10 on the 10 scale. Now, I’m not talking gay shit, cause that shit is gay. But anything that involves a woman, and it’s on. Don’t care how freaky, or gross. The only thing I won’t do is scat. College girls are into some weird shit. Hopefully I’ll take some amazing pictures over the years. Props to Julene for her incredible sex face by the way. I used her picture cause she’s into watersports.
Promiscuous Sex
One million on the 10 scale. My friends say I will fuck anything that moves. They’re right. Now, does promiscuous sex also mean the lack of protection? I like to gamble.
So that’s the college life. I’m looking forward to it.
