I wouldn’t mind if they stopped rapping. Part 1.

One thing I enjoy about adult hood is the no nonsense factor. Since I’ve gotten older, I’ve become a lot more impatient with just about everything; women, children, bartenders charging 7 dollars for a Guinness that’s not even on tap etc. Music has probably suffered the most. I used to be the “THAT AIN’T REAL HIP-HOP!!!” kid. Now I’m the “Young Dro > Irrelevant Pioneer” guy. Anyway, I got to talking to Ali about bullshit ass rap shit, and it inspired me to make a list of rappers that gotta go. Let’s begin.

Supastition

Oh boy. I discovered this fellow shortly after I graduated highschool, and haven’t thought he was dope since. If you’ve never listened to him, let me summarize his career: “I’m poor, and I feel like rapping about it. Hell, let me make an album about my economic struggles.” I cared about flow and delivery when I was 17 or whatever. I can still appreciate talent, but I don’t need to be reminded of bills, and lack of income by listening to this bullshit.

Gifted Unlimited Rhymes Universal

Yeah, I had to type the entire acronym out. I realize this guy is legendary and so on, but let’s face it. He hasn’t said shit since Moment of Truth, and I’ll be honest, I listened to most of that for Premier’s production. I don’t know what he’s all bitter about, but talk about a fucking downgrade. Teaming up with Solar is like Olajuwon going to play for the Raptors. Here’s a funny quote I saw from Wikipedia about the Street Scriptures CD: “The album reached #1 on the college hip-hop charts, but was a failure with both fans and critics.” It’s because people knew the record was gonna be trash. And #1 on the college charts? White dudes from the suburbs go to college.

Kanye West

I was debating whether or not I should put Kanye on this list because apparently he’s not a rapper anymore. Kanye West was a great artist once upon a time. Now he’s too “creative” for his own good, and he’s going to release any ol’ bullshit and people will scoop it up. Call it brand loyalty or whatever. All I know is if Megadeth started playing folk music, it’s time for me to find a new favorite thrash metal band. Know what I mean? Plus he wears tight clothes, and if Jadakiss disagrees with nut hugging jeans, then I do too. “Tight shirt, tight pants, all these homosapiens.“

Game, The

Yeah, the westcoast fell off, Game brought it back. It was refreshing for a year, then I realized something. Tattoos of butterflies on men are really gay, and the gang shit I grew up listening to back then was only dope then, and it was only dope because of who was rapping it. As far as I’m concered, Gangs were cool up until the late 90’s. Yeah, I said it. Gangs fell off. Typing this section of the entry got me to thinking about something that Jay-Z said. “Niggas saying they made Hov. Made Hov say, okay. Make another Hov.” Where would this clown be without Curtis and Andre? He got lucky they cut him off after built him.

Lupe Fiasco

The only reason this nerd has a gold record is because all those people saw him on Karmaloop TV or some shit. I thought “Kick Push” was cool when I first listened to it, but then I had this urge to listen to M.O.P. immediately afterwards. I was conflicted. Raps about skateboarding are cool, but I really need gun busting, and woman abusing rhymes in my music. I’m ignorant, and don’t care about the youth. Haha @ Q-Tip saying Lupe Fiasco is gay.

Slug

Slug is the new LL Cool J, except he never battled Kool Moe Dee, so he’s got no cred. I’ve never met another heterosexual male who told me they liked Atmosphere. Plenty of bitches I know think Slug is cute though. I thought God Loves Ugly was cool. That’s it. It hasn’t been played in the whip since I was like 16. Yeah, I still call my shit a whip. Anyway, Goretex said it best: “Nobody’s biggin’ you up, You rhymin’ all mushy/ Hippy rappers, what the fuck is emo about? You crying pussy.“

Immortal Technique

I only have room on my playlist for one conspiracy theorist, and it’s not Immortal Technique. Wow, I grew tired of this trash a long time ago. Apparently this character is still wasting people’s time with raps about Bin Laden, George Bush, budget cuts, tax dollars, prop. 79, 14th Amendment, Roe Vs. Wade etc. I don’t give a fuck. I like to keep my music and politics separate. And then I’d like to keep my politics on CNN, and not watch it because that shit is boring.

Nas

If Untitled never dropped, Nasty Nasir wouldn’t be on this list. Again, Politics has no fucking place in music. Especially this genre. I don’t even know what to say, really. Shit is tiring, and played. I think Public Enemy said everything there is to be said on the subject, and that was 20 years ago. It was hype as fuck too.

That’s it for now. I have a giant list of these, but I’ll save them for another day. I’m full of hate today, and I think I’d like to spread some of it around in real life. So long. PS, I’m tired of Rik Cordero’s shit too.

Tags: atmosphere sucks, double dildos, i hate immortal technique