MC Ren – Pedophile.

I am down with misogyny. Pedophilia, not so much. One of my favorite songs ever is N.W.A.’s “She Swallowed it.” It is the holy grail of songs disrespecting women. But there’s a part in the song that just BARELY caught my attention, and I am not down with it.

“..Went to the bucket, and I looked through the window/ it was some niggaz that I knew, they let me in, Yo!/  And my turn was like next, I couldn’t see a face, all I saw was a pussy and a chest/ I wanted to see a face, I felt I oughta/ Peeped over the seat, OH SHIT it was the preacher’s daughter!/ and she’s only fourteen and a ho, but the bitch sucks dick like a specialized pro/ She looked at me, I was surprized, but wasn’t passing up the chance of my dick getting baptized/ I told the bitch to do it quick, you little ho, hurry up and suck my dick..”

No one noticed this over the last 18 years? The Villain in Black is a sexual predator. Where is Chris Hansen? That little segment wouldn’t be allowed by the label today because of Dateline NBC. I could understand if the girl was seventeen and turning eighteen in two days, Ren, but fourteen? That’s too young, sir. That shit is weird, but I decided that all is forgiven by the third verse when he instructs you to hit a woman who says she doesn’t suck dick. I wonder why no one else was on the song..

MURS & 9th Wonder – Sweet Lord (Free Album)

MURS & 9th Wonder released their third collab album today. It’s totally free too! You can donate via paypal, but that’s completely up to you. Click the picture to download!!!

Porn Recession?!

Porn sales are being affected by the economy! This is ridiculous. Read about it here:

http://www.wallstreetfighter.com/2008/07/the-porn-recession.html

I forgot what the porno netflix was called, but I’m gonna be making the switch to that real soon it seems.

Savannah Jane is a deaf pornstar. Where have I been?

After I finished laughing, I decided I was very proud of her.

Kudos to you, deaffie.

BONUS:

BONUS LINK: http://deafgonewild.com/

Penelope Pitstop.

If I had to eat one breakfast food for the rest of my life, it’d be bagels. Bagels are so amazing. Blah blah blah, they’re fattening, whatever. Just because you got some wide ass hips, doesn’t mean I have to stop eating them. It’s the one thing that might let me forget about all the devious things Jews have done over the years. Maybe. Did Hitler ever eat a Bagel? Seriously. That 6 million number could have been reduced to about 2 or 3 million if he just had an Everything Bagel for breakfast. With some orange juice. Ooh wee. Did you guys know Hitler was into watersports? I was reading all this shit about him. Dude was a homo, and let people piss on him. I don’t remember if he was into scat or not. Anyway, Bagels are great. Palestine, try a Bagel. Israel, move to Europe.

I like logging into my wordpress account without knowing what I’m going to type. Everytime I plan on writing some shit, it always turns out boring. My creative juices flow when I’m listening to Busta Rhymes, and I have porn playing in the background. It gets me going. That potentially sounds gay, so..No homo.

Vans X Slayer.

Those hightops are a must have. No two ways about it. Them lows are gay though. All slip on shoes are gay.

Beijing Olympics 2008.

I’ve had it with my Macbook. It’s dead yet again. Long ago I dropped it, it broke, I sent it to get it repaired. They ‘fixed’ it. Ever since then, the fucking thing crashes every two months. I’m sure all I need to do is get a new harddrive and everything will be okay. I doubt the shit is still under warranty, and I’m gonna have to pay for it. I’ll go to a mac store eventually and give them a piece of my mind. I should mention to them that taking pictures of my dick is only satisfying when it’s done with Mac’s photobooth program, and nothing else.

I’m not that excited about the olympics. They hardly televise anything Iran competes in, and when they do, it’s always at 3:30 in the morning or some shit. Weightlifting, and freestyle wrestling is dope and all, but I’m usually sleeping at that hour. I do like that Iran is competing in basketball. I hope they get a game against the U.S. hahaha. Olympic soccer is cool. Honduras somehow qualified with like..15 other teams. I think they’ll get destroyed, but hey, they made it. I have to root for them. There is absolutely nothing else that is even remotely interesting to me. Oh wait, is women’s softball still in the olympics? I love me some white girls.

Rockstar Mayhem Festival.

Apparently I’m an honorary “Maggot” now. These white dudes were mortified when I told them I had never ever listened to Slipknot before, and watching them that day would be my first time. They then proceeded to tell me about their history. I appreciated it, but I didn’t want to sit through that shit. Anyway, I went to the Rockstar Mayhem Festival yesterday because I enjoy metal, and white people. The brahs were in full effect. Here’s a small “review” of what I saw. Sorry, I took pics with a shitty camera phone because they wouldn’t let me come in with my camera.

 Airbourne – Holy hell! These guys rock. There’s definitely that AC/DC influence in their music, but it’s faster. I enjoyed their set for three reasons. One, They’re a fun band, and they sound great. Two, the moment I stepped into the pit, 5 White Supremacists jumped in, which means I jumped out. I’m not gonna have my face broken by a dude with SS, and Swastika tattoos all over. And Three, I saw titties with nice dark nipples.

 Suicide Silence – I do not listen to their music. I don’t dig all the screaming and shit, but I love the show they put on. Lots of energy, and white people going fucking crazy. I stood as far away from the pit as I could because the last time I saw these fuckers, some girl got kicked right in the face like two feet away from me. It was righteous. Anyway, keep on keepin’ on, Suicide Silence.

Walls of Jericho – I don’t like them either. I’m not with all that screaming shit. I think the girl is hot, but I still stand by my “Girls can’t rock” statement. Somehow, she got the biggest pit of the day started. It was so hectic. I saw some pretty little things in the pit getting trampled. Good. Serves them right for trying to act like men.

 Mastodon (The Greatest Metal Band on Earth) - The venue was being gay about the pit in the main stage. It was open to everyone during their set, which means I was really close to the front because bros arent smart enough to understand the amazingness that is Mastodon. I was expecting them to play something off of the upcoming album, but they’re still doing promo for Blood Mountain apparently. Their set was pretty much the same as the last time I saw them. “The Wolf is Loose,” some shit off of Leviathan, and I forgot what they closed out with. During the set, some dude from Slipknot came out to take pictures of everyone in the crowd, and everyone started making noise for that guy. I don’t give a fuck about Slipknot. Mastodon rules. I’ve decided there is no band better than Mastodon. Troy’s nose started bleeding at one point. That was either cocaine, or the heat. I’m not sure which one. He strikes me as a whiskey type of guy though.

Dragonforce – These guys played on the main stage after Mastodon? They’re terrible. Everything just sounds the same. They played a “new” song from the “new” album. It was the same hyper speed bullshit that you’re used to. They played “Through the Fire and Flames,” and every 14 year old in attendance went crazy. I have a picture, but it isn’t worth posting. I was sitting down, and too far away. They had a keytar player though. That was fun. Oh, and some cool guy threw some shit at the guitar player that isn’t chinese, and he flipped them off. That was hilarious. They still suck though.

Machine Head – They’re awful. I hate bands that say “SO WHO’S SMOKING MAD WEED TONIGHT?!” That’s lame. No pictures because my back was turned to them for most of the set.

Underoath – I wouldn’t give these pussies the time of day if they promised me the bible would get me freaky hoes who were into ass to mouth. I’m glad Suicide Silence thinks they’re gay. hahaha.

A bunch of bands I missed – I missed you on purpose.

Disturbed – These guys played on the main stage after Mastodon? If sucking was an Olympic sport, Disturbed would be that Russian that has been to the Olympics three times in a row, and has won the medal for sucking each time. Holy fuck they’re terrible. Bros love them, and I don’t even know why. They’re not metal. They’re in the same genre as Godsmack, Puddle of Mudd, Nickelback etc. I think it’s called “Gay Shit.” Does the lead singer know he’s a rapper, or what? Ugh. I don’t have a picture because I was sitting down the whole time. I guess you can say I was sitting down with the sickness. Oooh, ah, ah, ah.

Slipknot - Official band of the KKK? I have to admit these guys put on a fucking great show. They were so in sync with each other, and their stage presence is phenomenal. Even the percussionists look cool doing what they do. I wasn’t able to really “rock out” because I don’t know their catalog, but my friend Clay was going insane. Watching White people in their natural habitat is so exciting. All in all, they’re cool. I don’t know when I’ll see them again, but I’ll definitely make a real effort too. Hell, I’m going to buy their new album. I was that impressed.

Being at a show like this makes me miss the days I was working in the music industry. Mostly because I don’t want to pay for tickets anymore, and loved rubbing my backstage passes in people’s faces. hahaha. No, really. I loved being a part of making things run. It’s inspiring to see all these bands go out there and do their thing. It’s even more inspiring the bands get on the mic and shoutout all the people behind the scenes.

10 g’s for blow, to 30 g’s a show, to orgies with hoes I’ve never seen befo’.

Whoa. Can you believe we’re already 7 months into 2008? I wanted to do this right after June, but I’ve been busy, ho. Umm, it’s been pretty wild, honestly. I remember December 31st like it was yesterday. I was eating Pizza with Ali at my mom’s house an hour before the ball dropped. We were talking nonsense as usual. Shit’s crazy. Time flies when you get older. You better enjoy it while you’re a kid! Here’s a small recap of things that I thought were worth writing about. I’ll tell you right now, I don’t give a shit about anything but Myself, and music. hahaha. Read, trick.

Work/Life/School – I got fired from my job two weeks into January. That was depressing. Totally out of nowhere too. I was doing well. Hell, I was going great. Maybe it’s cause I was too much. I don’t I fit in a conservative setting, and I know that. I make it hard for old white people to relate to me, and I’m too stubborn to be proper for anyone. After some job searching, I gave up and decided to go back to school. I want my degree. Not only for myself, but I want to make my parents proud. They’re old school and shit. They want to see me walk. Deal. I’ll do that shit. Music industry, here I come.

My parents split not too long ago. I don’t even know how to feel about it to tell you the truth. This is something that should have happened at least 15 years ago. One day while I was on a mini-vacataion, I came home, and my mom straight up said “I’m leaving your dad.” and now she’s gone. I’m not even sad about it. Well, I’m upset that she’s gone and shit, and we’re not a family anymore, but it’s whatever. I’m grown, I understand. I’m gonna live with my dad for a bit, let him get on my nerves, then I’ll find a nice party house to live in. Yay life.

I’m cutting soda out of my diet. Ali told me about how shitty energy drinks are for you, so I cut those out with the quickness, and I haven’t had one in a month. Soda is next. I bought a 24 case of Dr. Pepper like a week ago, and I’ve been drinking them like a madman. I’m on my last two, and I’m sure I’ll finish these tonight and then cut that out. I gotta slim down and get in proper shape. I’m tired of the love handles. Ask ya mama, she’s tired of them too.

Travel – Whoa! I went to Europe with Ali and Muñoz this Spring. It was an epic trip that I will never forget. I spent most of my trip drinking, and falling in love with every woman I encountered. I think all three of us fell in love at least 82 times. Anyway, it was so fun. I smoked pot, I danced, I pissed in a river. Cool shit. The next time I go to Europe, I’m definitely going to stay longer, and visit a lot of other countries. Hopefully it’s with the same two assholes I went with this year.

I also went to Canada. Toronto to be exact. This was a much shorter trip, and I spent way less time drunk..and high. haha. Okay, so I smoked pot again. It was the last time! Anyway. Toronto is a wonderful city, and I would like to spend more time there. Maybe I’m just saying that because the entire time I was there, I was surrounded by many, many beautiful women. Beautiful women that knew my name. There’s a difference. hahaha. I was there on behalf of pornography, and the art of tattooing. A good reason to travel I would think.

Music – 2008’s been okay so far. I’ve bought several CDs, most have been good. Some were just bad. Let’s talk about rock!

Attack & Release by The Black Keys – Whoa, someone tell Dangermouse to stay away from rap forever, and stick to doing this. This album sounds a lot cleaner than Magic Potion’s gritty ass sound, but I’m sure this was a step in the right direction. I heard “Strange Times” more than once on the radio. That’s a win as far as I’m concerned.

The Bedlam in Goliath by The Mars Volta – Ah, they stopped doing hard drugs a while ago, but they continue with the weird shit. This concept was definitely the strangest yet. Supposedly Omar bought Cedric an evil ouija board from Israel while on vacation. Ouija board has magical powers, almost breaks band up, record is born. I can’t imagine how the convo went when they decided to make this album..

Omar: Hey, you know that Ouija board that almost killed us?
Cedric: …
Omar: Let’s make an album about it.
Cedric: ..I’m down. Let me write some weird shit that doesn’t make sense, but totally does when you think about it.
Omar: Cool, let me program some freaky ass sounds into this keyboard. You should check out these riffs I’m writing, they sound like animals dying.
Cedric: Should we tell the other guys?
Omar: No, only tell Thomas. He’s going to have to drum for 3 hours straight at our live shows. By the way, how does this vest from the 1930’s look on me? I couldn’t find the matching top hat.
Thomas: Hey gang..

That’s my attempt at humor. It may sound like I am bashing TMV, but I’m not. I truly enjoyed this album. Maybe not as much as Frances the Mute, but it’s up there. My only beef with it was that although the concept seemed like it would be tighter than ever, everything just seems so unorganized. I had the pleasure of watching these gentlemen perform at UCI in January, and it was definitely one of the best live shows I’ve ever seen in my life. AND I’VE WATCHED DAFT PUNK PERFORM. HOW BOUT THEM APPLEZ?

Runnin’ Wild by Airbourne – Motherfucking kick ass. I like beer, I like cheap sluts, I like throwing punches at nothing, I like kick ass guitar riffs. This album is like all of that rolled into one. Especially the guitar riffs part. This is a must buy if you like whiskey and girls in black.

Gods of the Earth by The Sword – I don’t know my genres anymore. This is either Doom metal, Stoner metal, or Dragonslaying metal. I can never understand what their lead singer is saying, but they make up for that with their bad ass style of play. It’s heavy and dirty, like my nuts.

Let’s talk about rap.

Rising Down by The Roots – Hey look, someone is still making quality hip-hop music out there. I’m going to go ahead and say this is probably my favorite album of 2008 so far. It’s albums like these that make me so happy to be a part of the culture. Black Thought was flawless throughout, as were the rest of them. Go out and get it if you haven’t already

I Pledge Allegiance to the Grind II by Killer Mike – You don’t know who Killer Mike is. That’s okay, he’s college educated. You kinda forget that this guy was on a major label once, and had an opportunity to go to Bad Boy to get some real good exposure. Oh well, I think it’s working out for him. The album is great. Everyone forgets that Killer Mike is a fucking monsterrrrrrrrr on the mic. His debut was named Monster… Dope beats, dope rhymes, some good stories, great guest spots, quality bangers and some positive messages all throughout this record. It’s hard to find, but if you find it, buy it.

Untitled by Nas – I don’t want to say much cause I’m gonna write about it later. Nas, you got this album out. Please return to doing dope shit. Can you work with Premier while you’re doing that?

Greatest Story Ever Told by David Banner – David Banner says this album is a classic, but I don’t see it. I skipped a few songs between number 2 and 16. They’re just boring. Banner needs to get his shit together, and produce everything himself. Also, how are you going to have T.I. on your album, and not have him rap on it? Eh. I’m mixed about this one. There’s great songs. There’s awful ones. I don’t want to call it a letdown, but I’m not gonna say it’s great, or really good, even. All you need to know is stuntin’ is a habit. So get like me.

II Trill by Bun B – Oh look, the south put out a good album! This is nothing new, haterz. Bun B has been dope for years. I don’t think I wrote a review for this. I don’t want to. It’s a really good album. A lot better than Trill. Take my word for it.

Let’s talk about Other/Misc.!

In Silico by Pendulum – Jesus Christ. I really liked their previous effort, but this album has made me a real fan. It’s such a hard album. It’s become a mandatory part of my freeway driving experience. I like the direction they went on this one. It’s got more of a rock influence, and there’s a lot more vocals too. I ain’t even talking about Tenor Fly. hahahaha. They still keep it D&B even though they changed it up a bit. Truly one of my favorite albums this year. I can’t believe it was out for like two months before I even heard it.

That’s my 08 so far. I’m looking forward to a lot more music, some more trips to Canada, and wherever else. I’m looking forward to school starting in the fall. It’s gonna be great.

Hell Rell – Get Ready

I’m out of this world, girl. You can’t GPS me.

New shit from the upcoming album Black Mask, Black Gloves. Out July 22nd on BabyGrande records.

Courtesy: Nahright.com