Want free porn? Wear a Celtics jersey.

Erotica L.A. was going on over the weekend, and I was only able to attend on Sunday. How sad. I went in 2006, and missed it last year due to some kind of event for work. Anyway, I went with my friend Peter. Peter and I know everything about pornography. He is my A-Alike. The drive over to the convention center was filled with convo about cream pies, best new starlets, girls who need to start doing anal, and cheap “2 for $5″ porno. There’s a 30 second video of this.

“Do you even know where Boston is?”

Kids in a candy store. Maybe that isn’t the right way to describe it, but you know what I mean. I just wanted to scream “I love porno!” at the top of my lungs and run around in circles like a retard. I made the mistake/genius decision to wear my Celtics jersey. I was harassed constantly, but when I walked over to the Jules Jordan booth, one of the dudes there was from Boston, and let me have a free porno. I chose Ass Worship 9. Velicity Von’s first anal scene. It’s classic. Shot the shit for a minute, and wandered some more.

“Take off that jersey!”

Passed by Mr. Marcus, who is shorter than I am. Really weird. He had his trademark hate and watch on. haha. Lexington Steele was dressed like Eddie Griffin in Undercover Brother. Ron Jeremy still looks like my dad. I didn’t take a picture with him. The first long line we waited in was for Sasha Grey. I had many things to say to her, but the only thing that came out was “Hi, how are you?” and “Give me an interview for Godsgirls.com..blah blah.” How stupid. I was going to buy Sasha Grey’s Anatomy in Blue-Ray, but it was 35 bucks. Fuck that.

“Fuck the Celtics, Dogg!!”

Some more wandering, and we ran into Joanna Angel of Burningangel.com. She’s teeny tiny. She made sex eyes at me, but my loyalty to GG is too strong. Joanna leaves without my dick.

“Take that shit off!!”

The longest line we were in was for Belladonna. We looked around for a few hours before she showed up. I bought Butthole Whores 2 while I was in line so she could sign the cover. She greeted me with a hug, and whispered dirty things in my ear, and then gave me her phone number. That was a lie. She signed some things, gave me some shit, and then took a picture. Then I died and went to heaven.

“You’re in the wrong town, buddy!!”

I ran into Godsgirl’s own Superna at the convention!! She was dope. I introduced myself, and she was like “Oh shit, you’re Farhaad?!?!” haha. She’s real nice

“Don’t take a picture with the Celtics fan!”

And then there was Audrey. She touched me inappropriately. I think I fell in love with her.

Okay, I’m bored of posting pictures. It was a good time, I’m glad I caught it. AdultCon in December is next. Check out the rest of my pictures at Myspace.com/starhaad

Tags: audrey bitoni, belladonna, jenna haze, jules jordan, porn, porno, sasha grey