Samantha Ronson, real lesbian.

Lindsay Lohan, not a lesbian. Is it just me, or does it seem that girls who claim they’re bisexual are full of shit? I think if you’re a girl, the true meaning of “bisexual” these days is you like to kiss other girls. Now, a dude who is “bisexual” is just a faggot. That’s word.

I don’t think Rohan is gonna last. Samantha Ronson looks like the type of dyke that doesn’t use dildos cause she’s so anti-man. She uses oven mitts and shit. Her dyke game is strong. I’m pretty sure she’s into butt-play too, something little miss Lohan probably doesn’t do. These young Hollywood girls are a mess. They’ll put coke up their nose, but they think a finger in the butt is gross. Somebody’s priorities are fucked.

Barack Obama for President.

Is it Summer yet? I think Summer is here..or just around the corner. I’m making an epic CD mix that I can bump for the next three months. I’m thinking I have to make a version for rap, rock, and whatever else. Here’s the rap shit.

3XKrazy – Keep it on the Real
DJ Quik – Summer Breeze
MC Ren, E.A. Ski & Kam – Westside Driveby
Doveshack – Summertime in the LBC
WC feat. Ice Cube & Mack 10 – West Up
Too Short – In the Trunk
Tha Dogg Pound – What Would You Do
Suga Free – Doe Doe and da Skunk
Mack 10 – On them Thangs
Peter Gunz & Lord Tariq – Deja Vu
Big Pun feat. Joe – Still Not A Player
50 Cent – Good Die Young
Cormega feat. Large Professor – The Come Up
Busta Rhymes – Put Your Hands..
De La Soul feat. Chaka Khan – All Good
Jayo Felony feat. Method Man & DMX – Whatcha Gonna Do
M.O.P. – Ante Up
Gangstarr – Mass Appeal
Public Enemy – Fight the Power
Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock – It Takes Two
Jay-Z feat. M.O.P. – U Don’t Know (Remix)
Dr. Dre feat. Devin the Dude & Snoop Dogg – Fuck You
Outkast – Rosa Parks
Snoop Dogg feat. Tha Dogg Pound – Ain’t No Fun
Ludacris – Southern Hospitality
Three 6 Mafia feat. Project Pat & UGK – Sippin’ on some Syrup
UGK – Wood Wheel
Clipse – Trill
Juvenile – Ha
Bone Thugs N Harmony – 1st of tha Month

…plus many many more.

Cultured.

Last night I ate with chop sticks for the first time ever. I eat Asian shit all the time, too. I love asking for a good ol’ American fork. Fuck y’all.

Anyway, chop sticks are okay.

Kim Kardashian is a whore.

I have a job interview in the morning. It’s adult industry related. I’m excited.

Jimi Hendrix sex tape.

I finished The Game by Neil Strauss. I’m kinda sad that it’s over. I haven’t enjoyed a book like that since Jim Norton’s Tales of a Meaty Breasted Zilch. What now? After reading something like that, I want to have a harem of hoes more than ever. Paying 2500 dollars to learn the Mystery Method in person is not something I could afford. Neither is the 85 dollars a month to sign up for the Stylelife Academy. Real Social Dynamics can eat a dick. Ha. I think I’ll stick to being an Average Frustrated Chump for a long time.

Adriana Lima nudes.

Anything to get hits. Anyway..

The list is complete. It’s 20 things I need to do before the end of the Summer. I’m pretty sure I can knock almost all of these out before September. There are some activities that I have to wait around for, but that’s all good. I can always add on, right?

-Go to the beach and make a sand castle.
-Read The Pact.
-Learn how to play a complete rock song, from the 1980s, on the guitar.
-Cook someone a full course dinner, using recipes from a cookbook.
-Go to the Museum of Tolerance.
-Attend at least three Los Angeles Dodgers home games. (I might extend this one to 10 games.)
-Read The Autobiography of Malcolm X as told to Alex Haley.
-Complete separate, enclosed checklist of Wikipedia articles to read. (Mandela, Poe, Kittinger etc.)
-Visit the Long Beach Aquarium of the Pacific.
-Attend a class at The Learning Annex.
-Attend the Watts Summer Festival.
-Find a cafe or a bakery in Southern California that sells beignets, and enjoy.
-Go to the Getty Center.
-Register to participate in CityRace/Race LA in the Fall.
-Create something (a tattoo design, a short story, an insightful blog post, etc.).
-Read the short story “Luck” by Mark Twain.
-Go to your school’s career center, and look at careers/relevant coursework.
-Sign up for five library cards, check out something from each.
-Volunteer for at least one day at the Braille Institute, L.A. Sight Center.
-Visit the Japanese-American National Museum.

Anyone who wants to join me in any of these activities is more than welcome. I’d like to have a companion for a lot of these. I begin June 1st. Let me know.

Interview #2.

I interviewed producer/retired rapper, J-Zone, for Godsgirls.com. Click the image below, and read the interview!

Filth floren! Motherfucker, dick, pussy, snot and shit. Good night!

To ensure my Summer won’t be a flop, I’ve enlisted my good friend Ali of Alispeaks.com to come up with a nice list of things for me to do between June 1st and September 2nd. The other night I asked him how the list was coming along, and he said, “If you finish the list, it’ll make for a good conversation piece.” He also said he’d be impressed if I complete the whole thing. I have to admit, I’m a little scared, but at the same time excited. I’m ready for anything, and down for whatever. I’ll post the list up when it’s ready.

It’s four in the morning, and there is not enough Guinness in my system to keep me rambling. Stay tuned for more entries about cum shots, cum gargling, cum eating, cum swapping, and/or cum flinging. Goodnight. 

5th grade homework.

I’m helping my punk ass nephew do his homework. He has to write a story using twenty words in his weekly spelling list or some shit. These are his twenty words:

Potato
Property
Sensitive
Emotion
Vacation
Dangerous
Regular
Astonish
Popular
Favorite
Attention
Amateur
Condition
Imagine
Energy
Natural
History
Memory
Personal
Continue

Now, this is his story. I promise you this has not been edited in any way. This is his actual story. Misspelled words, and awful grammar will be included. The spelling words of the week will be bold. 

Once there was a potato who had little property. He had a sensetive emotion about everything. They he went on vacation. Little did he know it was a the most dangerous place, it was Mount Everest. He said it was just a regular mountain. People were astonish to hear him say that. He had got to popular after saying that he will have his favorate new home on the peak. What caught everyones attention was when he was clim bing the mountain! The people thought he was a ametur but he was not. The potato was in good condition he had no bad imagine in his head. He had so much energy. Natural efects had happen snow, hail, and slippry, ice. Then he had made it. He had made history. In his memory they built a statue of him. Still no one know wy he did it, it was proboley personal. There is a moral thought, it is always continue in life.

This is a 5th grader. 6th grade will be the death of him. I promise you. The boy was born in America, and English is his first language. There is no excuse for being this bad at writing at this age. I swear to God if my brother caught wind of this shit, he would slap him so hard. I’m really surprised that this kid has the balls to turn this bullshit in as a completed assignment. Sneaky ass brats might get by their fucking parents, but I was a kid once. You can’t fuck with me, especially if I take you to, and pick you up from school.

I hope the other two kids know how to read and write.

Rudebwoy no promote no nasty man dem haffi dead.

Hmm. I thought watching a girl getting cum in her asshole, farting the cum out onto a spoon and then eating it would be the sexiest thing ever, but I was way wrong, and a little upset at what I had just watched. She didn’t enjoy it like I had hoped. She actually said, in her cute British accent, “I think I’m gonna be sick!” while she gagged, and covered her mouth. I think it’s safe to say I’m not a fan of creampies if it’s going to end like that. I’m all for the broad farting it out onto the floor, glass table, into another girls mouth etc. The spoon thing is..not cool. I might even delete the scene. I can’t enjoy that shit if I know what’s coming. Pun definitely intended.

Okay, my social life disappeared the the last few days. I got a copy of Grand Theft Auto IV the day it came out, and I’ve been shooting innocent video game people in the face for several hours a day. I think this game may have brought back my love for sitting in one spot for many hours at a time doing dumb shit. I actually sat and played for like 3 hours straight, something that I haven’t done in years. Umm, probably already one of my favorite games of all time. Everything is sooooo good. The story, gameplay, visuals, sounds etc. are all top notch. If I was sexually aroused by all that stuff, I’d jerk off to it. No question.

So these queers at this job I wanted told me that they chose someone else for the position. It’s all good. I’ve made a decision to go back to school and do the backup plan thing. I still would like to do the music industry, but I figured I could just intern while I’m school and grind my way back into a paid position. We’ll see how everything turns out. I’ve had some thoughts and ideas about something that could really change my life as far as a career goes, though. I’m totally serious about it. So serious, that Tuesday night I am discussing my plans with people who I would like to be involved with said idea. Not only cause they’d be good at doing what they do, but because they’re also the people closest to me.

I interviewed J-Zone for Godsgirls.com. The interview will go up this week.