Europe.

I leave for Europe on Thursday. I feel like it’s a much needed trip. 2008 has been kind of a bummer so far. I lost my job, then two people who I considered really good friends, totally dogged me. My parents constantly remind me how disappointed they are. haha. I haven’t found a job yet, and those former friends can go fuck themselves.

Anyway, I’m very excited. This will be my first time going to Europe! I can sit here and talk about sight seeing, and culture, and shopping, and all that shit a tourist is supposed to do, but I’m looking to turn this trip into a fuck fest. Some 89 Luke Skyywalker type of shit. 94 Atlanta Freaknic type of shit. HBO specials about strippers who fuck customers type of shit. Head in the taxi-cab type of shit. Broken condom, so you get a latex glove with a rubber band type of shit. Get some ear wax and rub it in a girl’s pussy, if it burns her, she has an STD type of shit. Half a pill of Viagra type of shit. Out the back window cause ‘papa’ is home type of shit.

Luckily, I will be accompanied by my two friends. I figure if one of us strikes out, the other two have a chance to pull three girls so we can each have some fun. If a breezy is not that good looking, and she’s down to fuck, she’s getting fucked just so I can say “I banged some bird in Berlin.” And when my boys ask me if she was fly, I’ll say, “I don’t remember. I was kinda tipsy!” Then we all slap high-fives. I want to cum on everything. I’m going to attempt to put my thumb in every girl’s asshole. Hair will be pulled. Cheeks will be slapped. Panties will be pulled to the side. Beware, Europe. There’s a monster coming through.

Now excuse me while I go trim the hair on my pubic region. Toodles.

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