Have you ever listened to a song, and thought to yourself, “Wow, it’s like they followed me around, because this song is exactly about how I am, how I feel, what I do, who I am etc.?” I felt like that yesterday. I have never heard a song that I can relate to 100% before. It was a strange feeling to tell you the truth, I didn’t know how to react. I was a little frightened at how accurate my life is portrayed in this. Anyway, check it out:
I don’t even know what to say. It’s like I was followed on an average Tuesday night. Watch for the Project Pat cameo during Yung Joc’s verse.
Do not play basketball in these. They’re meant for trying to pull off that athletic look I guess. I don’t know how the fuck Mike played ball with these for a whole season. I’ve had the same pair of Jordans since 2001, and I’ve played in them a number of times, but each time has resulted in a sprained ankle. I can’t get it through my head for some reason. Tonight I broke these out because I wanted to play basketball for the first time in a while. I didn’t sprain an ankle, but it sure as hell feels like I did. Fuck these shoes. They’re going to be retired from the courts. I’m only going to wear them to throw out the trash, or check the mail. Peace.
So the last three nights have been pretty dope. Thursday I went on a double date and tried to stick my finger in a stripper’s asshole. Friday I spent 4 and a half hours with my two friends at Pink’s on La Brea talking about nothing. Saturday night I watched the NBA All-Star festivities, and Kelly Pavlik school Jermain Taylor again with my homeboys. Looks like it’s going to be 4 nights in a row, too. I’ll explain it all when I’m not sleepy.
It’s been almost one month since I got fired. No job yet. I’m still looking. I’ve applied to places. I lack inspiration, and motivation though. Getting fired was a huge blow to my ego. I’m an egomaniac, and narcissist. I wear shirts with my face on them. I’m looking for something that sounds like I could make an immediate impact. I’m all about proving myself asap. I’m not worried about interviews. I’ve got enough personality to get a job without even talking about anything work related. But..I’ll sit here and sip on this Dr. Pepper and edit my resume according to what I find just in case it comes down to taking a look at my work experience.
I‘ve been a member of a popular dating site for the last..month or so. It’s hilarious. Browsing this site has proven to me that there are only a few types of girls, and all of these birds know how to use the internet. Everyone you meet is a fucking repeat. Let me break down the types real quick.
Fat girl/ugly girl – She “has a lot of personality.” She’s also fat, ugly or both. That’s a no go. The nerve of these heffers. I’m sure they’re trying to say fine ass girls with supple titties, and firm ass don’t have personality. Sometimes I just don’t give a fuck about personality, and wanna jump a bitches bones cause she fine. How about that shit?
Bible Thumper – I hate that she’s usually pretty hot. I can’t believe there are people younger than 30 that give all this praise to God. What has God ever done? Did God rush for two thousand yards in a season? Did God three-peat (props to Riley) two separate times in his career? Did God magically place Pau Gasol in a Lakers uniform?
The “I hate liars and fakes” girl – Ugh. Stop saying that. I find that liars and fakes are some of the most entertaining people on the planet. It’s like they’re putting on a free show just for you. Learn how to appreciate shit. This one probably has the mentality of a teenager even though she’s between the ages of 21 to 25.
The “I LOVE sports” girl – Sure you do. For our first date, we’re going to Hooters to watch Valparaiso take on Drexel. I hear it’s going to be a barn-burner. I expect you to know the starting roster, offensive/defensive schemes, and keys to success for both teams. Don’t ever say you love sports again. Sports girl could be hot. Most likely a white chick who attends USC football games just cause she has a crush on John-David Booty.
Independent Woman Part 2 – I get it. Anything I can do, you can do better. You’re gonna be somebody, you’re gonna strive to be the best and so on. Let’s see you dodge a punch. Lot’s of unnecessary sass from this one that makes you want to leave her stuck with the bill. She’s either beautiful, or just really horrid in the face.
I have kids, but wont mention that till later girl – Bitch, I knew it! I’m only in the market for new cars. I don’t deal with the certified used shit. What? 128 point inspections don’t matter to me either. You might get a hot one every now and again, but it’s just not worth it. I don’t get off on the fact knowing I’m fucking somebody’s hot mom.
I Don’t Give A Fuck! Girl – She goes out every night. Has tattoos, drinks, smokes, probably puts a line or two up her nose (What do you expect? It’s Hollywood), knows like 8 million dudes. She’s really pretty with all that makeup on. That’s because she’s a makeup artist. She’s usually in her late 20’s these days. I think she qualifies as a “Hit it and quit it.”
Hipster – You think she has no fashion sense, she’s lame, her friends look ridiculous as she does, she listens to Three 6 Mafia to be all ironic and shit. But she doesn’t care what you think. Some of these hipsters would get fucked with the quickness. It’s too bad I don’t wear the same jeans they do, otherwise I’d be in that ass.
Fuck you hoes.
New shit from Yung Joc feat. Young Dro & Bun B – I’m a G. This song would be way better if Yung Joc didn’t exist.
It leaked. It is great. From the intro to the very last ‘Jackin for Beats’ styled song. The only negative thing I have to say about the album is that before every Sandman verse, you hear him say ‘caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnoooooooooooooooonnn’ or whatever the fuck he says. Not a big deal though. I still can’t tell the difference between each member of Clipse, but I know one of them once said “I like rap records with lots of gun talk.” This mixtape has a lot of that..and a lot of talk about cocaine, crack, crack cocaine etc. It’s brilliant, really. Look for it, buy it, whatever. Get your hands on it asap. Definitely worth a listen.
