Barry Sanders is the best. Ever.

I’ve been posting less. October had 22 posts, November had 11, and December has 6 so far. I think it’s got to do with me actually being busy at work. I try to stay away from the internet when I’m not working. I don’t find Al Gore’s invention as interesting as I did when I was 13. Remember 2 minute porno clips that took 15 minutes to load on 56k? It’s cool being able to download 200 megs worth of porn in just minutes, but really, where’s the thrill?

So this is what I’ve been up to recently..aside from the usual selling drugs to single mothers, shooting guns at police, and popping bottles with top 10 models and the Republican Party:

Guitar Hero/Rock Band – Most people workout, or play some sort of sport, and they feel it the next day. Not I. Have you ever tried to play Metallica’s “One” on the hard difficulty? Fucking ouch. My arms are killing me. I can’t imagine how Ali feels. He’s been playing drums. I can’t even imagine what expert is like.

Alcohol -  Yup.

2Girls1cup/All variations of -  I’ve seen all the different versions of this shit. 4girlsfingerpaint is the absolute worst. I showed them to my brother, and he was sick to his stomach for a few hours. Then I showed him that video of the dude taking a horses dick in his ass.

Politics – It’s almost time to vote and all that shit. I don’t know too much about the candidates except there’s a woman running, a ‘black’ guy, and the middle aged rich white dude (my favorite kind). I think I’m going to vote for whoever gets mentioned the most in rap songs. Obama is winning.

Well, that’s it. I just realized I never discussed Thanksgiving, or Christmas. I don’t want to. I’ll make some kind of year end-New Years Eve type of post. 2007’s been great.

Justice can go fuck themselves.

That last album that they dropped started off kinda epic with “Genesis,” but after that it’s really lame, and repetitive. I’ll probably never ever listen to them again. I only have a few gigs worth of music from artists who sound exactly the same album after album on my harddrive, and it all belongs to AC/DC. Have a Drink on Me, motherfuckers.

I have two tickets to The Mars Volta on January 30th, 2008. I don’t know who I should take with me. Start pleading your case.

Dark Beer.

I think Project Pat described my ideal woman with the song “Gel & Weave.” Here is the first verse.

You can put a wig on a pig-a-let, make her dance and jiggle it
Bring all the money back to Daddy and I’m diggin it
Burgundy or honey blonde, Yellow wit them black streakers
Red or the orange plum, Don’t forget the gold teefus
At the club half naked, In the store, house shoes
Cussin out authority, body full of tattoos
Bedroom doin things, flickin’ out her tongue ring
Livin’ in the projects, could be in a gang
She from the hoody-hood, all to the goody-good
Lips and her tongue and it’s all understoody-stood
First of the month mackin’, kids on the Similac and
Droppin over Mama’s house, “Girl what’s crack-a-lackin?”
Hookin up with so-called, g-string or no draws
Fingernails, big hips, juicy whale, pink lips
Ready mayne to do the damn thing at the motel
If you’re bang-banging all night she’ll go tell

“Paintin’ hella wallos on my physical.”

I want what I can’t have, and it’s driving me crazy. I wouldn’t say it’s unattainable, but it’ll be difficult to get a hold of. I think the chase will be worth it. Only two possibilities. Things might end bad, or everything will turn out peachy. This is really exciting in the weirdest way possible. I don’t know how I get myself in these situations, but I know I always get myself out them. Let the potentially awful times roll!

I’ve been listening to The Darkness all day. It’s too bad Justin Hawkins took off after rehab.

Let’s ride on these fools at their own barbeque.

I think I might be an egomaniac. I’m wearing a shirt with a stencil of my face on it.

Damn, what up? When did I turn this into a music blog? I’ve been slow on the updates, my bad. It’s been a rough few weeks. Nothing I couldn’t overcome, though. But it’s a new week! Things will be better. Anyway, my car broke down last week. I’ve been driving my roommate’s car. She’s in Louisiana being an actress in a movie. She’s a famous actress now. Anyway, she’s this crazy vegan, and she has all these vegan type bumper stickers on her car. One of them says, “Real men don’t harm animals.” I’m willing to put up with the stares because she has Sirius satellite radio, and all I listen to is the Old School Hip-Hop station. Whateverrrr. I’m buying a new car soon. Hopefully before the end of the year. I’ve figured it out I think. I can’t afford to pay more than 400 a month, that’s not including insurance and shit. I make okay money at work. I’d like a nice little raise before the year ends, so we’ll see. I’d like to pay rent, and car payments at the end of the month, without having to sacrifice things like food, and water. haha.

I bought the Norelco body groomer over the weekend. I was tired of grooming my ‘groin area’ with a regular ass razor. There’s so many dangers with that. I felt it was time to drop 40 bucks on one of these things, and do it in a somewhat safer method. I took it to my chest and shaved off a patch of hair, and it was smoothe, so I think it’ll be a pleasant experience. I’m about to charge that bitch for 8 hours, and wake up in the AM ready to carve an “F” above my dick area.

Now it’s time to bitch about music. Wonderful. So lately I’ve been talking to a friend about terrible ass music. We both agree that Busdriver is the worst rapper ever. That shit he does is not cool, or funny, or good. Nope. See, I got a problem with people who listen to Soulja Boy for anything other than comedic value (laughing at, not laughing with). The same goes for people who listen to this Busdriver character, and anyone else that falls into that genre of bullshit. I think I’m just mad cause once I saw some kid on myspace list Busdriver as one of the 10 best emcees ever. The kid somehow managed to leave Rakim, and Big Daddy Kane off of the list. Maybe he was being “edgy.” At the time I didn’t know who the fuck this dude was, I never heard his music, so, naturally, I looked for something by him on Youtube, and I got this:

What. The. Fuck.

110,000 people have watched this bullshit. Hardly anyone has commented about how gay it is. I just don’t get it. I bet if you’d ask this guy his influences, he’d say something like Rakim and Big Daddy Kane..sad. Anyway, I don’t know how anyone could prefer that song, over this one:

Pimp C will be missed.

 

Damn, Pimp C just got out of jail, and just like that, he’s gone. I am genuinely sad about it. I’m not gonna talk about how he’s a legend, and how he’s the best rapper of all time or nothing, but UGK’s Ridin’ Dirty is one of the most important albums I have ever listened to. It’s one of the albums that was in heavy rotation while I made some drastic changes in my life. Pimp C, your raps were simple, yet great, your interviews were extremely entertaining, and your attire was brilliant. You will be missed. Peace.

Ridin’ Dirty will be tonight’s soundtrack.